Last week at dinner with my parents and a close family friend in her 70s, my kids were talking about their day at school, which had included a drill, and then launched into a description of the different emergency drills they practice.

They walked us through the six kinds they know: active shooter drills for when a shooter is believed to be inside the building, different drills for when a threat is outside, weather drills for tornadoes, medical emergency drills, and bomb threat drills. My son, who remembers everything, explained each one step by step, as though he were rehearsing them all over again.

It struck me: this is what childhood sounds like now.

No wonder some kids get scared at night. No wonder their nervous systems are on high alert. These are not abstract ideas. They are routines. Expectations. Part of the ordinary structure of growing up.

And the drills are only one part of the story.

One of my son’s best friends has already lived through life-threatening cancer treatment. He made it through. But children know when life has been fragile. They know when someone their age has faced something terrifying.

My sister lives in Israel with my two nephews and brother-in-law. We speak with them every morning. My nephews have described the bombings, the rush into shelters, and the fear and disruption that become part of daily life when attacks are possible at any moment. My four-year-old nephew, Eli, has already lived through so many periods of conflict that he cannot count them. To him, a “war” is each time there is a bombing, or each time a cousin is deployed again.

And then there is the hate that so many children are becoming aware of far too early.

My kids hear about a swastika drawn at the high school they are planning to attend. They absorb the reality that hatred exists not in a distant history book, but in the communities around them. They hear stories of families torn apart, of people deported without cause, of children watching adults lose safety, resources, and stability overnight.

Children today are paying attention.

They are aware of suffering. They are aware of danger. They are aware of injustice. Many are also aware, in ways that can be both grounding and burdensome, of their own privilege.

And they do not all respond the same way.
My two children each take in the world differently. So do my husband and I. So do the adults around them. Some children ask endless questions. Some store details away quietly. Some seem unfazed until bedtime, when fears surface. Some become vigilant. Some become overwhelmed. Some harden. Some become deeply compassionate.

As adults, our instinct is to protect our children, to keep them safe. But what does safe even mean these days?

I am not entirely sure.

What I do know is that many of the messages we give children, even well-intended ones, can reinforce the idea that life is controllable if you are prepared enough, careful enough, successful enough, or good enough. We teach them to study hard, make good choices, plan ahead, build the right résumé, get into the right school. Much of that has value. Effort matters. Responsibility matters. Preparation matters.
But sometimes, without realizing it, we teach something else too: that if you do everything right, bad things will not happen.

That is comforting, but it is not true.

Bad things happen all the time. Illness happens. Violence happens. Hate happens. Loss happens. Unfairness happens. And for children growing up today, that reality is increasingly visible.

The danger is not only that kids are exposed to hard truths. It is that they may begin to believe they are supposed to predict them, prevent them, or control them. That if they worry enough, rehearse enough, or prepare enough, they can hold uncertainty at bay.

But control is often a false promise.

What actually prepares children for life is not the belief that they can control every outcome. It is adaptability. It is learning how to respond when life is disappointing, unfair, frightening, or unpredictable. It is building the capacity to face what they cannot control without falling apart.

That may be one of the central tasks of parenting right now: helping children distinguish between preparation and illusion, between responsibility and overcontrol, between healthy vigilance and the exhausting belief that they must always anticipate the worst.

It is more important than ever to be the adult in the room for our kids.

And that requires active parenting. It requires paying attention to our children, not only to what they say outright, but to the ways they communicate indirectly: in bedtime fears, irritability, withdrawal, questions that seem small but are not, changes in behavior, and the details they repeat when something has lodged itself in their minds. Our kids are telling us all the time what they are carrying. We have to slow down enough to notice.

If we want children to feel safe, then the responsibility is not only to protect them from large, visible threats. It is also to protect them from the quieter kinds of instability adults can create — poor boundaries, exclusion, and relationships that place children in unfair or uncomfortable positions. Kids are always watching the adults around them. They learn not only from what we say, but from how we behave.

That means helping them learn how to make decisions that are not purely self-serving. It means teaching them to think about other people, to care about their communities, and to act with integrity. It means standing up for what is right even when it is uncomfortable. It means showing them, in concrete ways, what fairness, kindness, courage, and accountability look like.

It also means resisting the temptation to pretend that none of this is happening.
We can try to live in a bubble. We can tell ourselves that if we do not name what is frightening, maybe our children will not feel it. But children are already feeling it. They are already noticing. They are already trying to make sense of a world that often feels scary, unstable, and morally confusing.

Our job is not to eliminate every hard truth. We cannot.

Our job is to help them carry those truths without becoming consumed by them.

We can help them feel less alone in their fear. We can give them language for what they are experiencing. We can teach them how to distinguish danger from discomfort, how to tolerate uncertainty, how to respond rather than panic, and how to stay human in the face of cruelty.

We can also help them understand that strength does not come from controlling reality. It comes from meeting reality. From bending without breaking. From learning that even in a world full of risk, they can adapt, think clearly, stay grounded, and move forward.

And maybe most importantly, we can help them believe that while the world can be frightening, they are not powerless within it.

Kids are scared. Adults are scared too.

But if we want our children to grow into people who make the world better, then we have to give them more than reassurance. We have to give them values. We have to give them examples. We have to give them honest conversation, moral clarity, and the steady presence of adults willing to lead with courage.

This is what it means to raise children in this day and age:

not pretending the world is safe, and not pretending we can control all that is dangerous, but helping them become the kind of people who can adapt, respond, and make the world safer, kinder, and more just.

One of the most common questions I hear in my practice is:

"Why does my child carry multiple diagnoses—autism, ADHD, anxiety, OCD—when each one sounds like it should stand alone?"

It’s a fair question. Families often feel like they’re chasing labels rather than finding clarity. But the truth is that psychiatric comorbidity is not an exception in children with developmental disabilities—it’s the expectation. Research consistently shows that 70–80% of children with autism, for example, will meet criteria for at least one additional psychiatric condition, most commonly ADHD, anxiety, or OCD. Similarly, children with ADHD are several times more likely than their neurotypical peers to develop anxiety or mood disorders.

So, what explains this overlap? Let’s step back and look through a transdiagnostic lens.

Shared Roots, Different Branches
When we see conditions like ASD, ADHD, anxiety, and OCD occurring together, it’s tempting to imagine them as separate illnesses that just happen to collide. Instead, the science points toward shared genetic and neurobiological susceptibilities that manifest in different ways.

• Genetic vulnerability: Large-scale genome studies have identified overlapping risk variants that cut across traditional diagnoses. Genes regulating dopamine and serotonin pathways, for example, are implicated in both ADHD and OCD, though the phenotypic expression diverges.
• Executive function as the bottleneck: These genetic susceptibilities often alter executive abilities—attention, working memory, inhibition, and cognitive flexibility. Think of executive function as the brain’s “air traffic control system.” When this system is under strain, planes (symptoms) may start circling in chaotic ways.
• Phenotypic expression: The same underlying vulnerability can look very different in real life. One child may struggle with distractibility, poor impulse control, and develop ADHD. Another child, with similar vulnerabilities, may funnel that same inflexibility into compulsive checking and rituals, meeting criteria for OCD. A third may show a profile of rigidity and sensory sensitivity and be diagnosed with autism.

In other words: the seed is shared, but the soil determines the bloom.

Why Diagnostic Clarity Still Matters
Families often ask me, “If everything overlaps, does the exact diagnosis even matter?”
The answer is yes—not because labels define your child, but because treatment depends on understanding the root cause of behavior.

• A child avoiding social activities because of autistic sensory overload needs different support than one avoiding due to performance anxiety.
• ADHD-related inattention requires different strategies than OCD-driven intrusive thoughts.
• Even within anxiety, treatment targets differ depending on whether avoidance is driven by separation fears, phobias, or compulsive rituals.

This is where a comprehensive neuropsychological evaluation becomes so valuable. It lets us trace the “symptom surface” back to the cognitive and emotional systems underneath, providing a roadmap that goes beyond guesswork.

Treatment Across the Spectrum
Behavioral & Psychotherapeutic Interventions

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) remains the gold standard for anxiety and OCD. In developmental disability populations, we adapt it—using visuals, repetition, and caregiver involvement.
• Behavioral activation and executive scaffolding are central for ADHD, helping children build structure, sustain effort, and tolerate frustration.
• Parent coaching and family therapy amplify these gains by aligning home responses and creating consistency across environments.
• For ASD, structured social skills groups, sensory regulation strategies, and flexibility training are often most effective.

While these therapies overlap in technique, the order, dosage, and emphasis differ depending on diagnostic clarity.

Pharmacotherapy
Medication plays an important role, but here again the overlap can complicate decisions.

• Stimulants (like methylphenidate) remain the frontline for ADHD but can exacerbate anxiety in susceptible children.
• SSRIs are highly effective for OCD and generalized anxiety but may increase impulsivity or activation in ADHD profiles.
• Atypical antipsychotics are sometimes prescribed for irritability in ASD, though their use requires careful weighing of metabolic side effects.

This is why “what works for one child may not work for another” is more than a cliché—it’s a reflection of how shared vulnerabilities diverge into unique symptom pathways.

Moving Forward
What I want families to know is this:

1. Your child’s comorbidities are not random. They reflect how genetic and cognitive vulnerabilities interact with environment and development.
2. Diagnostic clarity is not about labels—it’s about treatment precision.
3. Integrated care—behavioral, educational, family-based, and medical—provides the strongest outcomes.

In my own evaluations, I’ve seen again and again how untangling these threads gives families relief. Instead of feeling like they’re fighting four different battles, they can see the shared terrain—and focus on building strategies that address root vulnerabilities while respecting their child’s uniqueness.

If you’re a parent navigating this maze and wondering whether a neuropsychological evaluation might help, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can bring order to complexity and chart a path forward grounded in both science and compassion.

By Micah Savin, Ph.D.
Dr. Savin is an Ivy League-trained clinical neuropsychologist with expertise in behavioral interventions that optimize equity in development, aging, and health.

Executive Summary
Jonathan Haidt's *The Anxious Generation* has reignited the conversation around adolescent mental health and the role of digital technology particularly smartphones and social media. While Haidt underscores a real and growing concern, his analysis tends to overemphasize correlational findings and understate the complexity of the digital ecosystem young people inhabit today. This white paper expands on Haidt's thesis by incorporating robust empirical research, acknowledging the permanence of digital technologies, and advocating for a balanced, proactive, and developmentally sensitive approach to digital parenting. Rather than banning or avoiding technology, we must equip children and adolescents with the tools, boundaries, and self-regulation strategies to thrive both online and offline.

1. Understanding Haidt's Central Argument: The "Great Rewiring" of Childhood Haidt outlines two parallel transformations that began around 2010:

• The Decline of Play-Based Childhood: The reduction in unsupervised outdoor play, increased academic pressure, and risk-averse parenting led to fewer opportunities for children to develop autonomy, resilience, and social negotiation skills.
  

1. The Rise of Phone-Based Childhood: The rapid adoption of smartphones and social media among preteens and teens shifted the developmental landscape. Social interaction moved online, playbecame passive consumption, and identity development became tied to digital validation.
   

Haidt connects these trends to an alarming rise in youth mental health issues particularly among adolescent girls. He cites increases in anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and self-harm that coincided with the rise of Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok.

While this narrative is compelling and well-researched in parts, it has been met with skepticism from researchers who emphasize the limitations of correlational data and the need for more nuanced causal models.

2. Empirical Evidence: The Real Relationship Between Social Media and Mental Health
Current psychological research offers a more complex picture:
Small, Context-Dependent Effects:

• Studies show that digital technology has small average effects on well-being, both positive and negative. The variance is often more meaningful than the mean.
• Passive vs. Active Use: Passive scrolling may contribute to envy or disconnection, whereas active engagement (commenting, messaging) can enhance social connectedness.
• Individual Differences: Adolescents with pre-existing mental health challenges, low self-esteem, or offline social difficulties may be more vulnerable.
• Platform-Specific Impacts: Visual platforms (e.g., Instagram, TikTok) appear more associated with body image concerns, especially among girls.

Bidirectionality and Reverse Causation:

• Mental health challenges often precede increased social media use. Teens with anxiety or loneliness may turn to digital devices for distraction or connection.
  Potential for Positive Development:
• Social media can support identity exploration, community building, creative expression, and access to mental health resources.

A binary "good vs. bad" framing fails to capture the full reality of digital engagement.

3. Technology Isn't Going Anywhere: Preparing Youth for a Digital FutureRather than delay or eliminate technology, children must be taught to navigate digital tools with intention and integrity.

Digital Literacy as a Core Skill:
Understand how digital systems work: algorithmic curation, misinformation, digital footprints, and AI-generated content.

Building Self-Regulation:

• Recognize emotional triggers, manage screen time, and set personal boundaries.
• Encourage internal motivation and decision-making, rather than relying solely on parental control.

The goal is to help adolescents internalize values and skills that allow them to thrive in both physical and digital environments.

4. The Role of Parents: Frameworks, Not Firewalls
Parents remain the most influential force in a child's digital development.

Create a Developmentally Appropriate Framework:

• Gradually introduce technology with clear household norms.
• Screen-free meals, device curfews, family charging stations.

Monitor with Transparency:

• Use tools for accountability, not surveillance.
• Encourage open discussions about apps and online content.

Teach Values-Based Decision Making:

• Help children connect digital behavior to real-world identity and values.
• Foster a sense of internal responsibility for online conduct.
  
  
  

5. Schools and Communities as Partners
Digital resilience is a public health and educational issue.

Schools Can:

• Integrate digital citizenship and healthy tech use into curricula.
• Provide device-free opportunities for social connection.
• Model balanced tech use in classrooms.
• Offer education on media literacy and online safety.

Communities must join the effort to support youth and advocate for protective policy measures.

Conclusion: A Resilient Generation is a Guided Generation
*The Anxious Generation* raises important concerns, but the solution is not rejectionit's guidance.

We need action that is:

• Grounded in empirical research
• Focused on digital literacy and self-regulation
• Inclusive of parents, schools, and policymakers

Youth must be equipped to think critically, connect authentically, and regulate themselves in both real and virtual spaces. With the right support, they can flourish in the digital age

Athletic performance is not just a matter of physical ability—it is deeply influenced by both individual psychology and team dynamics. Research consistently highlights the importance of mental resilience, emotional regulation, and interpersonal relationships in achieving peak performance. The interplay between an athlete’s intrinsic mindset, motivation, and coping mechanisms, alongside the external influences of team culture, coaching strategies, and communication dynamics, can decide success or struggle.

Beyond sport-specific mental training, there are times when deeper personal exploration through psychotherapy is crucial. As Madison Keys shared in her speech following her Australian Open 2024 victory, seeking therapy allowed her to work through personal challenges that extended beyond the confines of sport. Her experience underscores a growing understanding: mental health and sports performance are inseparable. Whether addressing past experiences, managing anxiety, or refining self-belief, comprehensive psychological support—both within team structures and on an individual level—can be transformative.

This resource, created by the Sport Psychology team at Soffer & Associates, explores the evidence-based principles of sport psychology, team and coach dynamics, and individual mental health interventions, providing insight into how athletes can optimize their performance and well-being both on and off the field.

Mastering the mental game doesn’t just elevate your performance in sport—it builds resilience, focus, and confidence that extend far beyond the field, enriching aspects of your life far BEYOND the game.

Team sports aren’t just about competition—they shape who you are on and off the field. Here’s how being part of a team sets athletes up for lifelong success:

1. Mastering Communication
From strategizing on the field to celebrating victories, effective communication is key. Playing a team sport teaches you to actively listen, express ideas clearly, and connect with people from diverse backgrounds. Skill translates directly to personal relationships and professional teamwork.

2. Building Resilience and Adaptability
Whether bouncing back from a loss or adapting to new team roles, team sports teach perseverance in facing challenges. These lessons help athletes develop emotional resilience and thrive in dynamic, high-pressure environments.

3. Learning Leadership and Teamwork
Team sports balance leadership and collaboration. You’ll learn how to inspire and motivate others while respecting your role within a larger group—an essential skill in business, community projects, or any collective effort

4. Time Management and Goal Setting
Balancing practices, games, and personal responsibilities instills discipline and time management. Athletes also set goals and create actionable plans to achieve them—laying the groundwork for productivity and success in life.

5. Cultivating a Growth Mindset
Team sports foster a culture where hard work and persistence lead to improvement – accepting feedback, learning from mistakes, and striving to improve creates a mindset essential for personal and professional growth.
Playing a team sport helps to build a foundation for lifelong success, and the benefits extend far beyond the game

One of the most effective visualization exercises: the “Mental Game Walkthrough,” combines sensory imagery with a mental rehearsal of the game, helping athletes condition their minds for optimal performance. This will help you prepare for a game, a job interview, a college interview or ANY time you want to hone your Mindset.

1. Set the Stage

• Find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed
• Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and clear your mind of distractions.

2. Activate Your Senses           
             ○ Visualize yourself at the venue
            ○ Engage all five senses

•   See all of the details (colors, lines, surroundings)
•    Hear the sounds (crowd cheering, your teammates’ voices, the whistle)
•    Feel the texture (your jersey, equipment, or the ground beneath you)
•    Smell the environment (grass, gym floor, or air)
•    Taste, if applicable (water, gum, etc.)

This exercise helps rewire your brain to associate success with the game environment, reduces pre-game/event anxiety, and improves focus and confidence. By mentally “rehearsing” success, you’re more likely to execute effectively.

Dry January has become a popular challenge—ditching alcohol for 31 days after the indulgences of the holiday season. For many, it’s a time to detox the body, improve physical health, and recover from celebratory overindulgence. But what if we reimagined Dry January not as a reaction to holiday excess, but as an intentional exercise in mental clarity and emotional growth?

By reframing Dry January as a mindful reset for the brain, rather than just the body, we can unlock deeper benefits of going alcohol-free. Here’s how Dry January can be approached with a fresh perspective.

Alcohol and Emotional Habits: Beyond the Physical
While most people recognize the physical effects of alcohol, its role in our emotional patterns often goes overlooked. Whether it’s using a drink to take the edge off after a stressful day or as a social lubricant at events, alcohol often becomes a stand-in for emotional coping mechanisms.

When done mindfully, Dry January can:

1. Expose the “why” behind the drink – Are you drinking due to anxiety? To avoid a sense of awkwardness in social settings? Understanding the emotional triggers behind alcohol consumption can offer deeper self-awareness.
2. Promote Healthy Emotional Regulation – By consciously avoiding alcohol, you allow yourself space to practice coping strategies that don’t involve numbing or distraction.

A Cognitive Reset for a New Year
Instead of seeing Dry January as simply an abstinence exercise, view it as a reset button for the brain. Here’s what science tells us about the mental benefits of removing alcohol:

1. Restore Brain Chemistry – Alcohol disrupts neurotransmitter levels like serotonin and dopamine. Going alcohol-free lets your brain recalibrate, which can improve mood stability, focus, and even creativity.
2. Break Habitual Thought Patterns – Alcohol is often linked to routine habits—Friday happy hours or winding down with a glass of wine. Removing it gives you an opportunity to challenge and rewrite those routines with new, healthier rituals.
3. Enhance Emotional Awareness – Without the “buffer” of alcohol, emotions are felt more fully and authentically. While this can be uncomfortable, it offers an opportunity to better understand your feelings and how you handle them.

Adding, Not Subtracting
A key criticism of Dry January is that it focuses on what you’re taking away rather than what you’re gaining. Let’s flip that script. Instead of making it just about abstaining, add practices that foster growth and intentionality:

1. Mindfulness and Reflection – Use the time and mental clarity gained from removing alcohol to cultivate mindfulness. Journaling or meditation can deepen your understanding of yourself and your goals.
2. Experimenting with Social Dynamics – Alcohol is deeply tied to how we connect with others. Dry January can be a chance to practice being fully present in social settings without relying on alcohol as a crutch.
3. Prioritizing Joy in Other Forms – Explore new, fulfilling ways to relax or celebrate, such as exercise, creative hobbies, or alcohol-free social activities. Treat yourself to a delicious non-alcoholic drink that feels celebratory without the buzz.

A Personalized Approach: Make It Yours
Not everyone who tries Dry January has a problematic relationship with alcohol, nor is complete abstinence the end goal for everyone. The value lies in tailoring the experience to reflect your goals and needs.

For some, the focus might be on examining why alcohol is a default choice. For others, it might involve learning how to set boundaries in environments where drinking is encouraged. The point is not about following the “rules” but about uncovering insights into how alcohol intersects with your mental health and emotional patterns.

It’s Not About Perfect, It’s About Present
What if you slip up or decide to have a drink during Dry January? That’s OK. Rather than abandoning the challenge, use it as a learning moment. Reflect on why the choice was made and how it made you feel. Don’t allow Dry January to become a rigid commitment to perfection—it can be a flexible framework for being more mindful about your relationship with alcohol, your choices, and your emotional habits.

Looking Ahead: A Lasting Impact
Reframing Dry January as a month to cultivate mental clarity shifts the focus from sacrifice to opportunity. It’s less about “what you’re giving up” and more about “what you’re making space for,” and the benefits don’t need to end on February 1st. Many participants find themselves drinking less throughout the year, practicing healthier coping mechanisms, or feeling more confident in their ability to engage with life fully, no alcohol required.

So, this January, don’t just detox—dig deeper. Think of it as a month to reset emotionally, mentally, and physically, paving the way for a clearer, more intentional year ahead.

By Ariella Soffer, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, CEO and Founder of Soffer & Associates

On December 6, 2024, the Hudson Catholic High School football community experienced an unimaginable tragedy. A car accident claimed the lives of multiple individuals, including head football coach Lamar McKnight and assistant coach Brad Cunningham. The sudden loss of these two leaders, who were more than just strategists but also mentors and father figures to their players, has left the team and community grappling with profound grief.

While Hudson Catholic navigates the complexities of implementing healing and recovering strategies for their students and community, the tragedy underscores the critical importance of having best practices in place to guide athletic programs through such crises. Drawing on lessons from similar incidents in the sports world, communities must learn to move forward, while honoring those who are no longer with them.

Grieving Together: Best Practices in the Face of Loss
When tragedy strikes a community, teams are often at the heart of both mourning and healing. The collective experience of grief can strengthen bonds when approached with intention and care.

Acknowledging the Loss
Public acknowledgment of a tragedy is the first step toward healing. By addressing the loss with transparency and empathy, schools and organizations can validate the grief of their players, families, and community members. Memorial services, team gatherings, and symbolic acts of remembrance help bring people together in a spirit of support.

Creating a Supportive Environment
The emotional toll on athletes and coaches is significant. Mental health professionals, counselors, and grief specialists play a crucial role in helping individuals process their emotions while navigating the path forward. Schools can create open forums, offer counseling sessions, and hold team meetings focused on shared healing.

Learning from Similar Experiences
Many athletic teams and organizations have faced similar tragedies in past decades, and their responses offer valuable insight into how to move forward.

• ​Marshall University Football Team: In 1970, a plane crash killed most of Marshall University’s football team. The tragedy brought the university and its surrounding community together as they worked to rebuild the program. Every game that followed that fateful day became a tribute to those who were lost.
• ​​Humboldt Broncos Junior Hockey Team: Following a tragic bus accident in 2018, this Canadian team’s focus shifted from winning to honoring its fallen players, while providing survivors with emotional and community support. Vigils, fundraisers, and memorial games were essential to their healing journey.
• ​​Stanford University Women’s Soccer Team: After the death of goalkeeper Katie Meyer in 2022, the Stanford community responded by increasing access to mental health resources, normalizing conversations about athlete mental health, and creating platforms for student-athletes to share their experiences.

Healing as a Team
Teams often find that shared grief strengthens relationships. By leaning on each other, athletes and coaches can work through their emotions together using structured support.

• Dedicated Counseling and Mental Health Services: Offering on-site counselors and therapists ensures immediate support.
• ​Team Reflection Periods: Allowing players and staff to share their thoughts and memories fosters connection.

Honoring Legacies
Playing the game is not just a return to normalcy—it is an act of remembrance. By dedicating practices, games, or seasons to the memory of those lost, teams keep their legacies alive.

• ​Season Dedications: Wearing memorial patches, engaging in pregame tributes, or establishing scholarship funds in honor of those lost are powerful gestures.
• Redefining Success: In the wake of loss, the emphasis often shifts from winning to personal and collective growth, helping athletes channel their grief into resilience.

Leadership Transition
Losing pivotal figures on a team can leave a leadership void. Filling this gap is vital for restoring stability.

• Empowering Senior Players: Captains and seasoned athletes can step into mentorship roles, fostering a culture of unity and perseverance.
• ​Supporting New Leaders: New coaches or staff must be equipped with resources and support to guide the team through this challenging period.

Building a Culture of Resilience
The most enduring legacy of those lost often comes through the resilience they inspire in others. Schools and teams can use these moments as an opportunity to cultivate emotional intelligence, prioritize mental health, and instill values that extend far beyond the field.

Fostering Open Communication
Creating spaces where athletes feel comfortable expressing themselves is essential for long-term healing.

• ​Team Meetings: Regular gatherings focused on emotional check-ins and collective problem-solving can strengthen trust and connection.
• ​​Coach Vulnerability: When leaders model openness about their own emotions, it sets a powerful example for players.

Balancing Grief with Gratitude
Even in the face of heartbreak, recognizing the support of teammates, the strength of the community, and the memories of those lost can help players find perspective. Teams might incorporate exercises to help in the healing process.

• ​​Gratitude Exercises: Encouraging athletes to reflect on small wins and shared successes builds positivity.
• ​Shared Goals: Defining goals that align with the values of those lost gives teams a renewed sense of purpose.

A Shared Journey Toward Healing
The tragedy that struck Hudson Catholic High School is a sobering reminder of life’s fragility and the irreplaceable value of those lost. While the road ahead will be long and challenging, drawing from the experiences of other teams and their communities demonstrates that healing is possible. By leaning on each other, fostering a culture of openness, and honoring the legacy of Coaches McKnight and Cunningham, the Hudson Catholic community can work to turn grief into strength.
As the team, school, and broader community move forward, they do so as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. By focusing on unity, purpose, and the values instilled by those who are gone, they honor their memory in the most meaningful way.

By Ariella Soffer, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, CEO and Founder of Soffer & Associates


References:

1. ​​Marshall University Football Plane Crash (1970): “Marshall Plane Crash Remembered: 50 Years Later,” ESPN. Available at:https://www.espn.com.
2. Humboldt Broncos Bus Crash (2018): “Canada’s Humboldt Broncos: Healing After the Crash,” CBC News. Available at:https://www.cbc.ca.
3. Stanford University’s Katie Meyer (2022): “Stanford Soccer’s Katie Meyer: A Community Responds to Tragedy,” The New York Times. Available at: https://www.nytimes.com.
4. University of Wisconsin’s Sarah Shulze (2022): “Mental Health Resources Increased After Athlete’s Death,” Wisconsin Athletics. Available at:https://www.uwbadgers.com.
5. Lessons in Team Resilience Post-Tragedy: “Recovering Teams: How Sports Rebuild After Loss,” The Players’ Tribune. Available at:https://www.theplayerstribune.com.

We have reached the time of year when days are filled with festive celebrations, social gatherings, and the holiday rush. Yet, it’s also the time of year in which many of us experience a low mood. As the sunlight decreases and the days get shorter, many of us struggle with fatigue, sadness, and a general sense of gloominess. These symptoms are often exacerbated by our belief that we should feel more energized and positive during the holiday months, leaving us feeling inadequate and isolated because we feel out of sync with how we assume others feel. For many, the fall and winter months are a time when nothing sounds better than pulling the blankets over our heads and staying in bed.

Signs You May Be Experiencing “Winter Blues”
The “winter blues,” while not an official medical diagnosis, are commonly characterized by a low mood that occurs during the shorter and darker days in fall and winter. Symptoms include a sense of sadness, fatigue, a lack of motivation, and some difficulty sleeping. One may experience social withdrawal and the desire to stay indoors, alone, rather than socializing. Although symptoms tend to be mild and typically subside after a short period of time, they are bothersome and can prevent experiencing joy and pleasure during these months.

Understanding Low Mood: Potential Contributing Factors
The exact cause of low mood over the fall and winter has not been determined, but several potential contributing factors have been identified. First, a reduction in sunlight can cause a reduction in serotonin, a neurotransmitter in the brain that affects mood. Second, an increased production of melatonin, a hormone that responds to darkness, may cause increased lethargy and sleepiness. Third, we tend to have less outdoor exposure during the winter months, due to cold and darkness. Reduced exposure can lead to a Vitamin D deficiency, which can impact serotonin levels and lead to depression symptoms. Although the exact cause of low mood is unknown, the symptoms can nevertheless be difficult to cope with.

Mood Boosters: How to Navigate Low Mood During Colder Months
The good news: there are steps we can take to boost our moods, even in the colder and darker months. Certain behaviors influence our moods, for better or worse. Here are some recommended actions to help navigate and conquer a low mood:

• Get enough sleep and shift your day earlier. Establish a regular sleep schedule, aiming to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. If possible, shift your wake up and bedtime earlier, in order to maximize your sunlight exposure each day.
• Prioritize exercise. Even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing, getting regular exercise is essential to navigating the “winter blues.” Physical activity releases endorphins, which can improve mood and reduce stress. Given the holiday hustle and bustle that often comes with this time of year, regular exercise is especially essential – even though it feels as though you have less time to do so.
• Ensure outside activity. Expose yourself to the outdoors whenever possible. More time outdoors will increase your sun exposure if done during daytime hours (and fresh air never hurts!). Find creative ways to intersperse walks throughout your day. For instance, if you have a phone call to make, put your coat and shoes on and take a walk around the block during the call. Take a walk around the block before each meal – breakfast, lunch, and dinner – to stack a new habit on top of another, which will increase the likelihood that you still stick to it.
• Schedule one activity per day that gives you pleasure. The premise is straightforward: increasing pleasure will boost your mood. Make a list of activities that give you pleasure, such as calling a friend, having a hot cup of coffee, taking a bath or listening to music, and schedule one per day. When you complete each activity, mark it down in a journal or planner – which can give you a further boost by giving you a sense of completion.
• Anticipate and plan for barriers. When you are feeling down, it can be difficult to find the volition to take action to make ourselves feel better. Be mindful of this, and plan for any barriers. For instance, if finding your workout clothes feels troublesome and demotivating before leaving to exercise, place your gym shoes and workout gear beside the front door before you leave for work in the morning. Doing so will increase the likelihood that you will indeed exercise. Or, if you know your low mood will allow you to talk yourself out of calling a friend, schedule the call with your friend in advance to hold you accountable and set an alert in your phone to ensure that you will not forget. Another example of planning for barriers: if you know your workday is busy and you might forget to get outdoors, schedule an alert on your phone to ensure you are reminded that it is time to take a walk around the block. In short, make a plan!

More good news: shifting our thinking can also help to influence mood. A low mood during the holiday season can oftentimes be connected to unhelpful thought patterns, such as believing that the holidays should go a particular way or that we should feel a certain way because others presumably do. A “should” statement is one that tells us what we should be doing, thinking, or feeling. For instance, we may tell ourselves that we “should” host many people for our holiday meal because we have in the past, or that we “should” do all the holiday shopping in person rather than online. Such “should” statements set unrealistic expectations that may lead to feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion – both of which can be triggers for low mood.

As an alternative, when you notice you are telling yourself how things “should” be or how you “should” feel, get curious about where the expectation comes from (for example, you want to host many people for a holiday meal so that no one feels excluded, or you want to shop in person rather than online because it feels more personal). Then, evaluate and decide what action to take. Practice acceptance that your intentions may not go entirely as planned.

When Low Mood Goes Beyond “Winter Blues”(Winter-Onset Seasonal Affective Disorder)
At times, a low mood can be more severe than “winter blues,” and in such cases, more attention may be required. “Winter blues” and winter-onset seasonal affective disorder (SAD) are often conflated, but winter-onset SAD has symptoms that are greater in severity, longer in duration and more persistent in nature. Winter-onset SAD is a condition recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) that includes the following symptoms, some of which overlap with “winter blues”:

• Feeling sad or down most of the day, nearly everyday
• Experiencing low energy
• Difficulty concentrating and remembering
• Experiencing irritability or restlessness
• Sleeping too much
• Losing interest in activities that you typically enjoy
• Having difficulty concentrating
• Craving carbohydrates-rich foods
• Overeating or weight gain
• Experiencing a sense of hopelessness and worthlessness
• Social withdrawal
• Having thoughts of not wanting to live

With winter-onset SAD, these symptoms have a more significant impact on your life and can cause daily impairment. If you think you have symptoms of winter-onset SAD, it is important to contact your healthcare provider or seek professional therapy for treatment and support.

Important note: If you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, call 911 or 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). More information can be found here: https://988lifeline.org.

Consider a scenario where a teenage boy comes home from school, slams down his backpack and takes off his shoes before throwing them on the floor. His face has a deep frown and he avoids eye contact. When his father asks  what is wrong, the boy’s eyes fill with tears and responds, “I’m a failure.” When his father asks follow-up questions, the boy unzips his backpack and pulls out a crumpled-up piece of paper – a math quiz, with the grade of ‘B’ written in the top right corner. “I made a stupid mistake. I’m so dumb.” The boy sits down at the table and puts  his face in his hands. “I will never make it into a good college with these grades.”

In another circumstance, a tween girl has been offered placement into the honors science class at her school. When her mother congratulates her, the girl says matter-of-factly, “I’m not going to do it.” Her mother, flabbergasted and wanting every opportunity for her daughter asks, “What do you mean? You’ve worked so hard in science and now it’s being recognized by your teachers.” The girl shrugs and says, “It’s too hard. I like getting good grades and I’m worried I won’t get an A.” Despite much persistence from the mother, the girl continues to refuse to join the honors science class. 

Do either of these situations sound familiar? Both accounts exemplify a tendency that arises in many school-aged children: perfectionism. As we approach a new school year, it is helpful for parents to know how to identify and intervene with perfectionist tendencies within the context of school.

What is perfectionism and why is it problematic?
Perfectionism is characterized by an extreme fear of failure and having unrealistic expectations of oneself and others. Oftentimes, perfectionism is considered a positive attribute, particularly within the context of our achievement-focused culture. Indeed, perfectionism does have some advantages, as it can motivate one to work hard and strive for accomplishment. However, it can become problematic and clinically significant when it causes considerable distress or interferes with daily life. 

Striving for perfectionism can be a means to avoid shame. Children (and adults) with perfectionistic tendencies often work to achieve their best results, but with a deep sense of dissatisfaction because they are driven by the desire to avoid being seen as a failure. 

Perfectionism can lead to unhelpful thought patterns, such as:

• All-or-nothing thinking: This is an extreme mode of thinking that creates a false dichotomy between success and failure. When in this distorted mode of thinking, the individual believes there is no middle ground. In a child, all-or-nothing thinking may look like the expressed belief that any grade below an ‘A’ is a failure, or insisting that making one mistake on homework means that it should be completely redone. This all-or-nothing thinking may result in a child becoming hyper-focused on grades and difficulty tolerating disappointment. 
• Catastrophizing is a manifestation in which one jumps to the worst conclusion, often based on limited experience. In a child, catastrophizing may present as  a child responding to a lower grade by saying, “Now I won’t make honor roll, which means I won’t be accepted into college, which means I won’t get a job, which means I won’t be able to afford a home, which means I won’t have anywhere to live.” This catastrophizing can lead to  spending an excessive amount of time on homework or  difficulty regulating  emotions when receiving  feedback or a mark that is below their standards (or what they perceive to be the standards of others). 
• Overgeneralization is a  broad assumption based on a narrow experience. In a child, overgeneralization may involve a child saying, “I didn’t make the baseball team, so I am bad at sports” or, “I didn’t sit with anyone at lunch today, so I won’t make any friends this year.” This overgeneralization may prompt children to avoid tasks or activities that they believe they will not be successful at, such as trying out for a new sport or enrolling in an after school club due to fear of not making friends.

It is clear how these unhelpful thought patterns are limiting to a child’s experience and development both within the school environment and other social or competitive environments. In addition, these modes of thinking are oftentimes associated with depression, anxiety, disordered eating, and other mental health concerns – making it an important task for parents to recognize when children exhibit perfectionistic tendencies. 

How to approach perfectionism as a parent.
The goal for parents is to help their children become more flexible and less rigid in their thinking, and to support them in having more compassion for themselves and others. Parents have multiple tools they can use to help their children move away from perfectionism:

• Emphasize process over product. Children with perfectionistic tendencies often have a hyper-focus on grades rather than the work that went into achieving them – a mindset that is often reinforced by our grade-focused culture. Parents can counter this focus on grades by emphasizing the effort that children put into their projects and assignments, rather than the outcome. For instance, a parent can say “I noticed how much work you put into your science project,” rather than focusing on the final grade. A parent might also highlight a child’s individual progression, irrespective of grades, by saying, “Wow, I noticed how much more comfortable you’ve become at creating flashcards to study for tests. I remember when you were just beginning. You have made so much progress learning this study skill.” Or a parent can emphasize the skills a child practiced during a soccer game, rather than who won or lost. By emphasizing process rather than product, parents can help children shift their focus away from outcomes.
• Help children understand their worth irrespective of achievement. Parents can communicate to their children that their accomplishments – whether it be certain grades, their artistic abilities, or their placement on a sports team – contribute to their identity, but do not define their identity. For instance, parents can show an interest in their children’s lives beyond achievement by asking questions about their experiences with friends or their opinions on current events. Parents might also highlight when their child engages in an act of kindness, such as supporting a friend through a difficult time or walking the dog unprompted, to emphasize aspects of their child’s character that do not involve achievement.
• Frame mistakes as not only acceptable, but also as necessary for learning. Normalize making mistakes as an essential requirement for the development of new skills. Parents can explicitly say “mistakes are necessary for learning,” but it is also important to model making mistakes themselves. A parent can notice and highlight their own mistakes and model showing compassion for themselves. For instance, when a parent notices that they double-ordered groceries through a grocery delivery app, they can smile and say, “Oops, it looks like I double-ordered groceries this week by mistake. I guess we’ll be having a lot of leftovers! I will remember to review my order next time. Lesson learned! We all make mistakes.” Parents can convey that they, too, make mistakes and that is it is part of the human experience.
• Make room for activities that are not achievement oriented. Finding time in a child’s schedule to engage in activities that are solely for fun, self-expression or experimentation, such as a walk outside, an art project, or cooking together, will encourage more flexible thinking and – if done with others – can help with connectivity and social support.

Overall, when children embrace more flexible thinking and aim for a middle ground, they can strive for achievement and have a more balanced approach to schoolwork and other activities. Going into the new school year, this insight is an important element to keep in mind!

By Janine Weisenbeck, LMSW, JD.


Photo credit:  fizkes
Reposted with permission from WEForum

Ariella Soffer is a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City whose multifaceted career requires her to juggle numerous responsibilities, including running a group practice while being a full-time therapist, freelancing as a data consultant, and being a committed mother - to name just a few. 
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Dr. Soffer’s career has given unique insights to the challenges facing the mental healthcare industry today. From the barriers being placed by insurers that make therapy cost prohibitive, to the need to educate the public on what to expect from therapy, Dr. Soffer is committed to the belief that high quality services should be available to everybody. I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Soffer to discuss the biggest misconceptions about mental healthcare.

Can you tell me a little bit about your background and what sparked your initial interest in being a therapist?
I’m from New York City. I was born and raised and lived half of my life there. Both of my parents are also therapists, so it wasn’t entirely an off-the-mark trajectory, I suppose. I was initially interested in medicine and thought that was the path I wanted to take. Eventually, I pivoted and decided that the patient relationships that I wanted to have were more akin to being a psychologist rather than a neurologist, which had been my focus up until then.

What was it exactly about therapy that prompted you to make the switch from neurology?
Initially I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to be a researcher, exclusively a therapist in private practice, or an academic. The program I went to at Fordham University was a research-heavy, empirically supported treatment program, so I could have taken my career in a number of different directions. That was one of the key things I liked about psychology versus other degrees in mental health - the fact that there was a lot of diversity in terms of the things you could do. 

What I liked about psychology versus other mental health disciplines was the multifaceted curriculum – I learned how to pursue and conduct research, write grants and publish, teach at a college and graduate level, and also learned to implement various treatment modalities. I was fortunate to have excellent clinical supervision on my externship and internship placements to compliment the mentorship I had at Fordham. Consequently, I felt very prepared for a career that afforded me the opportunity to pursue multiple different domains of psychology (research and consultation alongside clinical practice and supervision).

Where I really started to get interested in therapy was at the intersection of change and the mechanisms of change, and how people got better during therapy. I started to understand how researching small aspects of the therapy process could help my clinical practice, and how important the relationship between a therapist and client, and supervisor and supervisee are in impacting who gets better in therapy. Research began to really support this as well and had a big impact on my clinical practice.

How does this interest in change affect how you provide care for your clients?
It is important to be very intentional about the things I listen for and how I intervene. Above all else, I try very hard to ensure that I am connecting what’s happening in the session to what I am working on with a patient. There are clues in each session that come in the form of words, behaviors and interactions that can help to facilitate a more powerful intervention, whether I am trying to utilize a more behavioral or insight-oriented technique. The more attuned I am to the person in the room, the more of an impact my interventions will make.

Obviously, being well educated and well informed about the treatments that work is very important. But in the end, it comes down to the human connection between a therapist and their client. I think that being attuned to a client’s objective and their goals and being able to listen for that and connect it to the intervention is the most important thing. 
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In your opinion, what is the biggest misconception people have about mental health care?
A patient asked me yesterday what’s the difference between talking to a friend and talking to a licensed therapist. I think that’s something that people ask a lot when coming into therapy. “I have people in my life I can talk to already, so what’s the difference? A therapist is just another person I’m talking to but then have to pay.” I think that’s a big misconception because a therapist is a trained professional who is outside of your life, who is listening in a very intentional way, and is intervening in a very specific way, to address a particular problem, or set of problems, or a diagnostic concern.

A therapist is also not a stakeholder in someone’s life in the same way as a confidant. I don’t think people know how important of a distinction that is and how different a conversation that can create. 

This confusion is compounded by the fact that people don’t necessarily understand the mental health industry or comprehend the range of treatment options that are available and what separates one form of mental health care from another. There are so many different people in what we can broadly call the mental health space. I think it obfuscates what therapy actually is or should be. 

Could you explain more about the differences between working with someone who's a licensed therapist and someone who is not?
Therapists strive to help someone achieve a particular objective. That doesn’t necessarily have to be a symptomatic objective. It could be somebody who says “I find it helpful to have a therapist in my life who I’m working through problems with on a weekly basis. That's how I want to use this service.”  So, the therapist should listen and be aligned to that goal. Where someone else may be coming to therapy because they have a spider phobia. They don’t want to be phobic of spiders anymore. So, in this case, the therapist should work on resolving that particular issue. The client could also be a very anxious person, but they’re not interested in working on that because they’re a solitary person who works with computers and don’t need to interface with anybody else – so the therapist can make the person aware of the way in which they could help with the general anxiety, but it’s up to a patient to decide if that is what they would like to work on at that time in their life. A therapist can encourage change, show someone the benefits, but also needs to respect where a person is in their life at the time they come into treatment. Therapy should be informed by someone’s knowledge base in their field and also what kind of care the patient is interested in. 

So it sounds like therapy should be a partnership between a mental health provider and the client to work towards clearly defined outcomes.
Yes, and informed by clinical practice.

Looking at the mental healthcare space, since you had such a great multi-generational experience, what would you like to see change?
I would like insurance companies to stop interfering in people’s ability to have high-quality mental health care. There is such a huge need for high quality mental health care and therapy providers. And not just among people who have good mental health insurance benefits or who are wealthy and can afford it. I think insurance companies have made it very difficult for providers to earn a living wage without seeing back-to-back patients unless they have a business model, like I was fortunate enough to create, where people can afford to pay out of pocket fees for a more curated service. I think there should be a solution for that. High-quality services should be available to everybody. This is where Nirvana Health can really step in, by helping to make the mental health billing process easier for both clients and therapists.

How do you think Nirvana could be most effective in addressing mental health billing difficulties? 
Nirvana is in a unique position as a liaison between mental health insurance companies, practices, providers, and patients. This positions Nirvana to be a valuable resource for disseminating information to the general public while also being an advocate. I think Nirvana's focus on helping therapists get paid appropriately for services while ensuring that clients are having the easiest road possible to mental health services is essential. The more insurance companies and mental health billing issues are removed as barriers, the more people will take advantage of those services.

For example, when I was at a small counseling center at a large public college, we had three therapists on staff and served approximately 26,000 students at the university. We referred a lot of the students out because we didn’t have capacity to serve them on campus. We did a study of the students that were referred and what we learned was that less than 20% of those students followed up with the referral. Why did so few follow up? Because they didn’t understand how therapy would benefit them. I think that is also true of a lot of people. People, in general, don’t understand how therapy can help them with their problems. Nirvana is in a great position to help educate people about the benefits of therapy while explaining to insurance companies how they’re contributing to a mental health care shortage.  

​Personally, Nirvana has helped me and the therapists in my practice to focus more on the clinical part of our work and less on the mental health billing and insurance part. During the COVID-19 Pandemic there was such a huge growth in services in my practice. It’s been exciting that so many people have needed services, but it’s also sad to see that this pandemic has had such a negative mental health effect. There’s an explosion of need right now and there are not that many providers who can accommodate it. People are getting pretty creative about how to expand their service, and Nirvana’s mental health billing services have been key in making that possible for my practice. 

This original interview has been edited for length and clarity.

As a new parent, I had an insatiable number of questions about my child and my
parenting - am I doing this, right? Is my baby OK? Is there a better way to do this?
No matter how many questions were answered, I always had more.

In between our early pediatrician visits I filled up the Notes App on my phone with
new questions for our next visit. Most of the time, I had already spent hours
googling, asking friends, calling the on-call nursing service to ask the same questions
to try and somehow get answers for my never-ending list.

Many women in my clinical practice suffer from postpartum anxiety or depression.
This means that in the year postpartum women (and/or sometimes their partners)
might be worrying excessively, suffering from insomnia, experiencing low appetite,
navigating fears about many aspects of life, experiencing physical symptoms or
panic attacks, having persistently low mood, feeling overwhelmed, crying
frequently, feeling irritable or apathetic, experiencing mood swings along with a
range of other symptoms.

When someone's default is compromised because of her emotional state, it can be
particularly hard in this digital age that we live in to trust oneself and her decisions
when everything out there seems to contradict. If you google "when to sleep train"
you might find 20 articles saying different things about when, if and how.

The rates of postpartum and pregnancy-related mood disorders are higher than
many people realize ...

• Roughly 80% of new mothers' experience "normal" baby blues in the first few weeks after a baby arrives.
• 1 in 7 experiences serious levels of anxiety or depression during pregnancy or postpartum in the first 3 months following the birth of a child. If you follow these women for a year postpartum the rate increases to 1 in S!
• 1 to 2 out of 1000 women suffer from postpartum psychosis
• 1 in 10 fathers experience postpartum depression

(the above three statistics are cited from: Wisner KL et al JAMA Psychiatry, 2013; Paulson et al.JAMA. 2010)

Suicide is one of the three leading cause of maternal death around the world.
Bleeding and hypertension were number 1 and 2. The peak risk for suicide in this
study was 7 to 9 months postpartum.
(Dell & O'Brien. 2003)

Who is at risk for postpartum mental health mood disorder?

• Previous postpartum mental health disorder history (family history, personal history, symptoms during pregnancy)
• History of Mood Disorders (either personal or family history)
• Significant mood reaction to hormonal changes (i.e. historically had trouble related to mood changes during menstrual cycle, or mood changes during puberty)
• Endocrine dysfunction
• Limited social support
• High stress parenting (parents of multiples, single parents)

Why talk about these statistics?

1. They are treatable and so many women, (and partners) do not seek help because of shame and stigma. There is a taboo around many aspects of mental health, but it's amplified when it comes to becoming a parent. Women and partners can suffer day after day; often secretly feeling ashamed and feeling they made a mistake.
2. We want you to know there are treatments out there that are effective and help so many people every day.

Our hope is that if we can help people understand how common these symptoms are, particularly in the first year of life, identify the symptoms, and take a more proactive approach it will facilitate parents getting the help they need more often.

Med-Psych’s Parent Consultation approach is to both address the concern you have for your child from a medical perspective as well as help you identify whether there are parenting/psychological issues at play that impact your current struggle.

Whether a parent is experiencing a postpartum mental health disorder or simply something that is coming up for him/her surrounding a particular parenting struggle, we appreciate how important it is to help our clients understand their own reaction to the issue so that it can be most effectively addressed.

We know just how hard parenting is, and are here to help you through.

By Ariella Soffer, Ph.D.